No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service. For as far back as I can remember I’ve seen that sign on the door of businesses across the country.
I used to hate that sign…Especially in the summer months of my youth. But I understood it….nobody wants to sit down to eat just to end up staring at across the restaurant at a furry, burly, sweaty guy with man-boobs. I get it.
It was pretty simple to circumvent. Before I could drive, I kept and old t-shirt tied to the handlebars of my bicycle. Once I could drive there was always a couple extra tees and normally a pair of “flip-flops” in the hatchback of the car. Problem solved….If you were running around half naked (which we always were) you could quickly get dressed in the parking lot and walk into any business which displayed such a sign.
I hate clothes. I hate the amount of money we spend on them, I hate the fact that they’ve become a social stigma, I hate the fact that they cover the beauty of the human body. I hate ‘em…..YES….I’m using the word “HATE” here….that’s how strongly I feel about it. If it were up to me, we could all run around naked all the time, everywhere we went. Yeah….even the furry, burly, sweaty guy with the man-boobs.
But, it’s not up to me. Or you. A long time ago, a bunch of prudish guys with scrawny physiques (and probably short dicks) made a rule….which later became a law…..and we adjusted to it.
It’s become the acceptable norm. Think about it….most people wouldn’t dream of walking out of their house naked….even though that’s the way we were intended to live. We don’t only cover our bodies…we cover our bodies in layers. Skivvies, slacks, shirt, and jacket….or skivvies, camisole, slip, dress….and just for good measure we’ll strap uncomfortable slabs of leather to our feet and wrap a tie or scarf around our neck just to complete the exercise in discomfort.
It’s just what we do in our society, isn’t it? The Laws and the Rules dictate that we need to cover our bodies so we don’t offend (or embarrass) others. We’re all good with that. Have you ever seen a protest or riot about having to don Fruit of the Looms. Yeah….me neither.
So….why is this “Mask” issue such a big deal? If a business requires you to wear a mask to enter their facility, is it any different than “No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service”? No…it’s not. If a law is passed ordering masks to be worn at public events, is it really any different than the laws that require you to wear pants? No…it’s not.
Let me get this straight…we’ll dress ourselves up in a couple hundred dollars of unnecessary adornment because the laws and rules say we need to, but we’re going to bitch about having to wear a three dollar mask that may save the lives of our neighbors? Really….covering up our crooked teeth, unkempt mustache, and bad breath is where we draw the line?
Quit bitchin’ and put it in the proper perspective, my friends.
And HEY…..SMILE, dammit.